In coaching recently many of the discussions have focussed on how to be aware of our self limiting beliefs and how to challenge them. Coachees have been looking at how to face up to feelings, recognising which ones are tricky, and then increasing confidence in how to be more emotionally aware and skilled in managing them. This in turn provides an increase in personal power and ability to achieve what we set out to do as we feel more in control.
I attended an inspiring workshop with Adams Psychology Services awhile back looking at what self limiting beliefs are and how to challenge them. Having worked in this area with coachees, and also with myself in some ways, this was not new. However everytime we meet new people, network, have new clients we learn more about the beliefs that can get in the way, produce negative feelings and prevent us from getting on with the doing.
Human beings are amazing but we often can't see our own fabulousness! We all have different belief systems but I have not met anyone yet who does not have an area in which there is a tendancy to use a negative thinking pattern. "I won't be able to do it', 'it will be overwhelming', 'i am always bad at parallel parking', 'I will get totally lost round Filton as always', 'I have never been good at flat packed furniture'.
My Nana always advised 'get your nail varnish and lipstick on and it will be ok'. Funnily enough doing that does work to some extent but she was also very much in the positive mindset of just get on with it. This is all very well, and it might not work so well for the men maybe in this example, but we can only go on for so long with 'keepin on keepin on' if things in life start to feel a little overwhelming.
I have amazing consultancy sessions with my coaching supervisor. In this she asks a variety of questions to unpack how I am thinking and feeling about things and what I do to be resilient in my own life to be able to coach. It is helpful to have a coach to help with this to provide a space where we can reflect on what is working and areas we wish to develop.
Facing up to what we are thinking and feeling, increasing self awareness of what is going on in our lives, just having time to reflect and be mindful of all of this is not always easy! After all denial is not just a place in Egypt as the saying goes and we are all great at being in denial about stuff.
So respect for all those who come to me for coaching sessions and work this stuff through. Longer term it is just going to be so much more healthy....knowing what is going on for you means that lipstick is arbitrary!
If you fancy a coaching session or a workshop of mine using cognitive behavioural approaches to kick start your self awareness pop me an email on firstname.lastname@example.org. I offer 1;1 coaching sessions, masterclasses and in house training which includes strategies to improve your performance, leadership style and wellbeing. I offer a free 30 mins phone consultation so don't hesitate to give me a call on 07811 740580.
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